The gift of being alone

As an introverted person, I actually like being alone for certain times, such as when I am sick, drained, tired, or exhausted after yesterday's quality time with my friends. But sometimes, I found myself trapped in my 'me-time' zone, the zone where I actually didn't want to be alone, the zone where my soul desire was just to be with the person I love, yet I could not fulfil it.

On some days my soul got what it wanted - and it never satisfied. I ended up longing for more, desiring for another, and I even found myself in disappointment when it did not happen the way I expected to be. 

At those times, I could say that they were my nightmares; desiring to be with anybody yet finding myself disappointed because it did not happen. 

But then I saw God. I met Him again. 

God let it happened to me. He let me to be alone, not with anybody else but Him. 

He cut off my time with anybody else so He could meet me there, teaching me new amazing things. He shut off the door so that anybody else couldn't come in for a while, so that He could come to me and offer me His loving presence. Because what would I need beside His love? He knows that. God knows my soul can only be satisfied in Him. He made my soul that way.

I begged for more quality time with people whom I love most, thinking that this will be a blessing I'd be grateful for, yet all that He gave and offered to me, again and again, was His loving presence. Turns out He desires us to be in His presence more than He desires us to simply and only be in His blessings. 

All my time of being alone, has turned out to be one of my most beautiful moments, most amazing grace which I really enjoy with my God. I am so grateful.

Yes, those are the sweetest moments between me and my God. And oh, I can see how delighted He is to be here and there, in all of our moments together. These are the places where He loves the most, the places where He gets to shape my heart every time, strengthen my faith, and even satisfy my soul with His unfailing love. These are the places in which I realize how completely loved I am, how I actually never lack any good things from Him. 

It's just Him, just to be with Him, it's always more than enough for me.